So after he puts his house up on the market, he goes, like totally paranoid. He confronts me in my driveway and starts accusing me of random things that I didn't do.

Like convincing the building inspectors that he was misadvertising his house and getting totally bent out of shape when my wife and I were saying nice things about the neighborhood to families that were looking at the house.

We were actually trying to help the bastard out of the neighborhood and he gets his panties in a bunch for some reason that still unclear to me.

That's me in the lower frame.

(Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies":)

Oh, this is the story of a man not named 'Jed',
Decided to turn into a major dickhead.
Tried to be nice, drank our wine, ate our fooood.
But turned out, deep-down, he was just plain crude.

Asshole, that is.
Adulterer.
Drug Addict.